Category Archives: 2022

Shotgun Wedding

Shotgun Wedding            1 ½ stars

I didn’t so much as watch Shotgun Wedding as endure it. Jennifer Lopez as Darcy does her latest performance in a wedding dress in this campy action comedy as a bride going to her wedding at a DIY destination event in the Philippines. Her fiancé, Tom (Josh Duhamel) has booked the location for its cost savings. Nevermind the fact that the location has a reputation for pirate attacks. When the pirates arrive, taking hostages and demanding ransom from Darcy’s father (Cheech Marin), Darcy and Tom somehow were missed and now must devise a plan to thwart the pirates and rescue their families and guests. Obviously zaniness ensues and all sorts of unlikely events happen highlighting the ineptitude of the pirates. It does turn out there is more to the crimes than what first appears and Tom is quick to see through the charade. One person who contributes well to the comedy is Jennifer Coolidge who always delivers with classy deadpan coolness. While watching this one I couldn’t help but feel this was another version of The Lost City (which also featured a dress but on Sandra Bullock), but a much less funny one. I usually see anything that features Ms. Lopez. This one was a lot more miss than hit.

Talk to Me

Talk to Me                          4 stars

Talk to Me from Australian newcomers Danny and Michael Philippou answers the question of what would a group of suburban teenagers do if they found a cursed mummified hand. If you said they would take turns using it to conjure dead spirits at a party while filming it with their iPhones you would be correct. This film which debuted at Sundance is easily the most intriguing horror movie I have seen so far this year. Teenager Mia (Sophie Wilde) who has recently lost her mother goes with her best friend, Jade (Alexandra Jensen) and Jade’s little brother Riley (Joe Bird) to a party of friends where the main event is to take turns grasping said cursed hand while strapped into a chair and saying the words “Talk to Me”. At this point the person sees a decaying human body staring back at them. If they can keep their composure they then say the words “I Let You In”, at which point a dead human spirit enters their body causing them to utter some threatening phrases and perhaps thrash about in strange contortions. But care must be taken to make sure the period of possession does not exceed 90 seconds. Sounds like a load of fun, doesn’t it? Mia takes a special interest in the activity when she believes this is a mechanism for her to communicate with her dead mother who died under mysterious circumstances, but something goes wrong resulting in severe injuries to the very young Riley. Naturally things take a dark turn as the teenagers try to find out the story behind the detached hand and Mia pursues ways to contact her dead mother. But there is a question as to whether it is her mother or something more sinister. Are you hooked yet? The movie does an effective job of showing us Mia’s grief (thanks to Miss Wilde) and includes some real mind grabbing special effects. I can also promise you a satisfying ending if you stick it out. The movie premiered at Sundance earlier this year. I saw it in an empty theater and now think it would have been a real blast to have seen it at Sundance with a fun full-size crowd. Look for it in theaters.

To Leslie

To Leslie               5 stars

One of the best based on real life, but largely unnoticed movies of 2022 must be To Leslie, directed by Michael Morris and starring British actress Andrea Riseborough (Nancy, Amsterdam). Riseborough expertly plays Leslie, an alcoholic single mother from a West Texas town who as we see from the movie’s first clip, won the Texas lottery. The movie picks up six years later when we see that she has squandered all the winnings on booze and abandoned her son at age 13. She is kicked out of the cheap motel she has been living in, so with a single suitcase is forced to live on the streets. Her son, James (Owen Teague), now a young adult finds her and takes her in on the promise that she not drink anymore. Naturally, she does not last even a day before she steals James’ roommate’s money and goes on another of her binges. This is too much for James to deal with, so she is kicked out once again and taken in by two estranged friends, Nancy (Allison Janney) and Dutch (Stephen Root) in her hometown where the cycle is repeated all over. Forced to face the consequences of her actions she has one last chance to figure out her life and make things right with those she has wronged. Riseborough strikes all the right notes in the role and is completely believable as the deceitful addict. She well deserves the Best Female Actor Academy Award nomination for this part. Marc Maron, the comedian, plays a large role in the film as a motel manager who befriends Leslie. He is perfectly cast in the movie. Young rising star Teague is good too as the son and you can see him next in Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (but don’t expect to recognize him). The use of 35 mm film in making the movie gives it that gritty look of the seventies. If you missed this gem of real life when it was in the theaters, you can catch it now on streaming services.

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio                   5 stars

Pinocchio by Academy Award winner Guillermo del Toro is not your Disney’s Pinocchio. It is not at all like the underwhelming live action Disney version that came out the same year (starring Tom Hanks). Del Toro’s movie is done with creative stop motion animation using physical carved figures and has a very dark aspect to it. There are the same basic elements from the original 1883 story by Carlo Collodi. It opens with Geppetto (David Bradley), the carpenter losing the son he loves, only here it is due to a stray bomb dropped from a war plane during World War II. It is set during the reign of Benito Mussolini, who we actually get to meet at one point. Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) was carved by Geppetto out of grief and was brought to life by some magic spirits. He has some very bad habits, always getting into trouble breaking things and skipping school like someone with ADHD. Like the original story his adventures include joining the circus and encountering a giant fish at sea and having a tiny cricket friend (Ewan McGregor) who looks out for him. In this version Pinocchio is crudely carved and is very puppet-like, with a large head and narrow limbs so that it is obvious he is made of wood. He would not be described as cute. And since he is very gullible it is easy for a carnival master (Christoph Waltz) to persuade him to join the circus. When it is learned that Pinocchio can be brought back to life after being killed, the local Podestà (Ron Perlman) sees that he will make the perfect soldier for the Fascist cause and forces him to join the army. He goes on to meet Il Duce who is not amused by Pinocchio’s antics so promptly shoots him! Each time he “dies” he is instructed by the Blue Fairy (Tilda Swinton) about his fate and the choices he is faced with. The movie has more violence than the Disney versions but even so is still suitable for children. It still has the same positive messages of the importance of love and family like the other versions. It is a natural story for del Toro to tackle adding it to his previous dark fantasy movies like Pan’s Labyrinth and The Shape of Water. It is very deserving of the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature it received.

Blonde

Blonde                  1 ½ stars

Blonde from 2022 is a fictionalized biopic of Marilyn Monroe by director Andrew Dominick (2007’s The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford). Fictionalized is correct as the movie is out to emphasize Monroe as a victim, exploited by Hollywood and the men around her and sexually abused through much of her career. Missing from the movie are how she was a true acting talent and was able to influence others and control a room as well as any sense of joy. With Ana de Armas doing a decent job as Marilyn (usually referred to as Norma Jeane), we follow the actress from childhood to her untimely death starting with her mentally disturbed mother trying to kill her, being sent to an orphanage at age eight, being abused by studio executives and being misunderstood by her husbands. She is consumed by a portrait of her absent father constantly dreaming of him returning to her someday. There are even scenes where she imagines seeing him passing on the street and hearing his voice saying he will see her. Then there is the horrible treatment of Monroe hoping to have a baby but being forced to have abortions or having an accidental miscarriage. These scenes are played out on the screen with graphic detail which was unnecessary. I found the scenes with Norma Jeane communicating telepathically with her unborn children (a la Lady Jessica in Dune Two) to be just weird. We get a dose of the abuse she experienced from husband Joe DiMaggio (Bobby Cannavale) who doesn’t seem to understand what he signed up for, but things do go better for her with husband Arthur Miller. (The credits refer to them as the Ex-athlete and the Playwright which I find to be pretentious.) She always refers to her lovers and husbands as Daddy like a child apparently showing how she wants to be united with her real father who she has never met. The style of the movie changes throughout using different aspect ratios and alternating between color and black and white for reasons unknown. In general, the movie is obsessed with showing Marilyn Monroe’s life as hell and I found it to be the most depressing thing I have seen in years. At 2 and three quarters hours it is more a test of endurance than entertainment.