If I Had Legs I’d Kick You 4 stars
You might remember a movie from last year called Nightbitch, starring Amy Adams about a mother of a young child dealing with the stresses of motherhood. Well, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You by director Mary Bronstein and starring Rose Byrne (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem and the voice of Mother in “I Am Mother”) takes that premise and puts it on steroids. The movie appeared at the Sundance Film Festival last year and got a lot of attention. It comes from A24, the studio known for movies with darker themes and complex characters. Linda, played by Byrne, is dealing with many stresses in her life at the same time. She has an overly anxious daughter who has a mysterious illness requiring her to have a feeding tube, and she can’t seem to put on enough weight. She has a doctor (played by director Mary Bronstein) for the daughter who keeps insisting that she come in for a face-to-face meeting and that she should participate in a support group. (Here we see the feelings of guilt some mothers experience.) Linda’s husband (Christian Slater (True Romance)), who she has conversations with over the phone, is perpetually absent and is not at all helpful. She is a therapist who sees patients that are generally confused about life and are very self-centered. She herself is seeing a therapist (Conan O’Brien like you’ve never seen him before) who is hostile toward her and doesn’t seem to care about her problems. If that isn’t enough, the living room ceiling of her rented house has collapsed leaving a flood of water all over the floor, forcing her into a hotel room with her daughter until repairs can be made. All these events combine to make the audience feel a high level of stress. (If you have been a mother, you will probably be thinking “I never had things this bad!”) Although the agony that Linda goes through is exaggerated, the movie successfully portrays the stress that can go with being a mother, especially one who isn’t getting enough support. Her one source of relief comes from a neighbor in the hotel, a handyman named James (A$AP Rocky (Highest 2 Lowest)) who occasionally watches her daughter while Linda is out (as well as supplying recreational drugs). Much of the credit for the feel of the movie has to go to Byrne, who portrays a mother trying to find solutions to problems while nearly breaking down from all the pressure. At no time does any real relief come for Linda, even when she removes the feeding tube from her daughter in a particularly graphic scene. It’s definitely not a feel-good movie and there are times when it drifts into full blown horror (like when Linda is examining that awful hole in the ceiling). I have to agree with the choice of nominating Rose Byrne for the Academy Award for Best Actress. She expresses the overwhelming feeling of anxiety from being a mother and how one must set her own needs aside. After watching this movie, you might want to talk to your mother and apologize! For the curious, some other notable movies about motherhood are Minari, Parallel Mothers, The Lost Daughter, Tully and The Kids Are All Right. (Later this summer watch for Toy Story 5 when Conan O’Brien will appear as Smarty Pants.)
